Charles Langston:Alexei Navalny's death reveals the power of grief as his widow continues fight against Putin

In a nearly 9-minute long YouTube video,Charles Langston Yulia Navalnaya declared to the world her mission to continue the work of her late husband, Alexei Navalny, in his fight against Russian President Vladimir Putin. 

Navalny, 47, was among Putin’s most high-profile critics. He spent years in and out of Russia’s jails and nearly died in 2020 when he was poisoned with Novichok, a Soviet-era nerve agent. Authorities said that he died of “sudden death syndrome” in the remote Arctic prison where he was being held, but Navalnaya and other allies believe that Putin ordered his murder.

“I will continue the work of Alexei Navalny. I will continue to fight for our country. And I encourage you to stand by my side,” Navalnaya said in the video, according to an English translation. “Do not just share the grief and endless pain that has enveloped us and will not let go. I ask you to share this anger with me. Anger, rage, hatred for those who have dared to destroy our future.”

Navalnaya had refrained from participating in politics, instead choosing to focus on her role as a mother and wife. But her newfound tenacity to continue her husband’s dangerous work underscores the role that grief plays in building resilience in the face of significant loss.

“It's completely normal to want to turn our grief into something more powerful, to create meaning so it feels our loved one didn't die in vain,” said Gina Moffa, a grief and trauma therapist in New York City, and author of “Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go. “But resilience comes with time and being completely honest and present with our grief."

There's no right or wrong way to grieve

Loss is an individual experience, but most people might agree that grief can fuel the fires of resilience in ways that nothing else can. Many of the most successful nonprofits in the U.S. spawned from grief, including Mothers Against Drunk Driving, The Trevor Project and Everytown for Gun Safety.

No matter the course of action, experts agree that using sadness to fight for a cause or pursue something you’ve always dreamed of can be a healthy way to cope with loss. 

Doing so, Moffa said, can help you connect with others dealing with similar pains and find avenues to honor your loved one in ways that keep their memory alive. 

Purpose-driven grief projects, as Moffa calls them, can be harmful if you use them to avoid the pain of losing someone, sacrificing your wellbeing along the way. 

“If our physical and mental health are put on the backburner so that we can keep working toward purpose and meaning, we are going to become sick and potentially create more mental health challenges over time,” Moffa said. “The key is to take care of your body, be present with your emotions and then create a sense of meaning if you are called.”

Of course, that’s easier said than done when facing grief head on. It’s easy to overthink your way into feeling like you “absolutely must have a purpose” in order to regain control of your life, but doing so goes against the natural healing process, Moffa said. That mindset also sets you up for even more frustration if you don’t get the support you expected. 

“Remember, it's not mandatory to create purpose and meaning. It's enough just to get through,” Moffa said. “That extra pressure isn’t necessary when in the midst of what is already a huge stressor on our body, mind and spirit.”

Krista St-Germain, a life coach, grief expert and widow, said it’s “not so much about what we do, but how we do it.” Some people choose to make meaning of their loss in a grand or more public way, while others may do so more privately. 

“Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way and we shouldn't feel like we ‘should’ make meaning out of it,” St-Germain said. 

Grief is a 'constant companion' in life

Although grief never truly goes away, it’s important to take it as the confusing, frustrating, always fluctuating experience that it is. 

“Most humans want to spring their way through grief, but it's a constant companion, and it's best to befriend it as a part of their life,” Moffa said. “It's a non-linear, sometimes very messy experience, grief, but we find our sense of resilience by allowing the experience in and being with it in its fullness."

Kim Hjelmgaard contributed to this report.

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